the deader.

so now let me tell you about this girl of mine
heart like all men’s dreams in the days of 49
i turn hollow no me more swallow this fast only she breaks
but distance keeps her miles or meters what difference does it make
‘cause here they come again to repossess my dreams
child don’t play yourself things are never what they seem
a bridge a river a pale moon sliver city shines so bright
but to my despair i wake up where they sleep out every night
the girl i love is oh so far away and i wonder can she hear me as i go through my day
oh now the bleating sea she laps upon my door
i’ll round a thousand horns just to drown upon her shore
blood red roses go down moses oh billowing sails
those so weak-willed guts all sea-filled
throw them o’er the rails boys
tighten up the jib and sing a hearty song
we been driftin’ driftin’ for far too long
i take no care me i’m so bare-breasted on the bow
scabbed and weathered skin of leather who’s the deader now
the girl i love is oh so oh so far away
i wonder can she hear me as i go through my day
its so long lady angel i guess i’ll say goodbye
but i do believe i’m aging right before your eyes
wash up on her coast not a nickel to my name
sold my sold my sold my gold watch and chain
enough to hire a band of lyres to march me on my way
through hills and valleys sugar ditch alleys up to her hingeless gate
the girl i love is oh so oh so far i away
i wonder can she hear me as i go through my day
its so long lady angel i guess i’ll say goodbye
but i do believe i’m aging right before your eyes
cock crow in the morning heard it loud and clear
i ask her for to marry she answer with a tear
boy you have my heart and i know you always will
but that ain’t enough to hold me cause love don’t pay the bills
i turned away in shame for all my days in vain guess
i’ll just drag on no one loves you till you’re gone
let the river be my guide let the desert be my bride
till my heart turns to steel
till I no longer feel
that the girl i love is oh so oh so far away
i wonder can she hear me as i go through my day
its so long lady angel i guess i’ll say goodbye
but i do believe i’m aging right before your eyes

miss meri.

i went down an empty lane searching for a song came back an empty man
my whiskers they hung long well i guess i am your native
son despite my queer disguise but i keep all i can call my own in the bags
beneath my eyes oh miss meri don’t despair we got ways to numb your pain
same old story: blood sweat glory i just hope all your trials weren’t
in vain to all my so-called country men who bless this stolen ground is jesus
gonna pick you up when your hunger weighs you down mama come and save me nothing’s
sacred anymore what good was living for i been wondering just who misplaced
my soul there’s pockets in my holes way out on the open plains men pave
beneath the sun the great suburban dawn if you build it they will come oh miss
Meri don’t despair we got ways to numb your pain same old fable: three
legged table i just hope all your trials weren’t in vain

the hand that held me down.

oh the razor in your apple the affection of your glove
the prison of your company the snake oil of your love
the leash by which you drag me the heights that hurl your scorn the trumpets
play the livelong day but they blow so forlorn did you hold the hand that held
me down did you laugh at my expense when there’s rust upon your ragged
crown who will stand at your defense when i unveiled my weakness on your rodeo
of tears you stood there so vacantly your fingers in your ears and you left
by the morning with all that’s left to steal but every time you say farewell
there’s breadcrumbs at your heals did you kiss the hand that held me
down was your kindness just pretense when there’s no one left for you
to clown who will stand at your defense but its ashes lord its ashes why must
we all fall down you take your place among the saints make not a single sound
and on the hills that held our childhood the flowers they grow still you lay
beneath them pushing weeds and i guess you always will could you be the hand
that held me down when i was sick with common sense now your statuettes are
all torn down now your innocence is spent and ever since your epitaph was splattered
on my wall no one comes to call they can’t stand the stench but i still
sing your praises every time the curtain calls the burden on me falls yes i
alone stand at your defense

the trembling of the rose.

why must it come to this you disowned
me with a kiss another number on your list guess that’s me but oh no
what have i done another fool blind by the sun now which way shall i run aimlessly
but look out now i can’t see straight just woke up and its getting late
and i’m just as full of hate as i used to be but in the hour of my demise
i’ll recall your empty eyes you know i died the day you set me free what
good is livin’ for when there’s no knock on the door no shelter
from the war against me but if you comfort me till dawn i’ll sing your
lonesome song pack my things and i’ll get gone vagrantly but with your
high heels and your mace you tell me i’m out of place rip my eyes out
of my face with ease and if i had one inch of pride you took that too when
you said goodbye you know i died the day you set me free well i dreamt of you
last night and i woke to curse my life good god i’m sick of sight can’t
you see but i must remain composed ‘neath the trembling of the rose but
you left me so exposed faithlessly but who knows what is right or wrong i’ll
paint your death and carry on no i don’t belong that’s plain to
see i guess i’ll take your stress in stride the hill is steep the water’s
wide you know i died the day you set me free

reflections of the marionette.

call the dogs and sound the horns the city key of where i’s born has been stolen
by someone i thought i knew she blew in with some angel dust from southern state where
love is lust and i hope she’s gone by the time this song is through but out among
the passers by she wets her lips sweats her eyes baits her tongue with pity
for her prey she transcends the avenue while she smiles at me she winks to
you i guess i’ll take my place in yesterday and darlin’ i cant wait for
you to leave this town you just got here too late and no one wants you ‘round
with one foot on my back and the other on the rail i don’t want to see
you fall i just want to see you fail well the night is sweet the night’s
divine it stains your teeth with blood red wine and leaves you lying in your
enemy’s arms and while you mumble down the hall something ‘bout
a skin made wall you find you’re just a sucker for her charms ‘cause
the vanity that cakes her face sucks you into death’s embrace you feel
your sense of self just fade away see you’re just a one man show and
once you’re done its time to go hear some restless footsteps down the
way now the youth protests the failing light with his shirt sleeves rolled
in the humid night he wonders where it was that he went wrong and in denial
while he ascends to her lofty room where all dreams end he watches while his
footsteps lead him on but his turn comes the next in line the well worn steps
he slowly climbs to find her lying meat-hooks on display and in the streets
the sirens sing what word they tell what news they bring the puppet in his
cuffs of string obeys

ribbons round my tongue.

oh lady fair your stranglin’ hair raps round my tongue i try to speak
but my thoughts grow weak for all the yarns
you’ve spun i heard them say that evil may walk in beauty’s shoes
and if ever i could love myself then i’ll stop loving you were you out
the other night flirting with all my friends i heard you told a joke or two
with my name at the end hurry home i sit in stone tell me it just ain’t
true but if ever i could love myself then i’ll stop loving you when you’re
gone i’ll carry on t’was (t’was?)never meant to last and
i’d much prefer to sit alone and drink about the past or so i say some
how some way till i believe its true that if ever i could love myself then
i’ll stop loving you this illness lord it chills me so the shadows closing
in but it feels quite nice to your chest of ice so i’ll let the darkness
win and at dawn i wakes with the bloody shakes to begin each day anewand if
ever i could love myself than i’ll stop loving you

despite what you’ve been told. well i guess by the
blood stain of your lips and the wander of your fingertips i should prove true
to my ruthlessness and stay here but i’m just a kid of ill repute and
the skin i wear’s my only suit and you you’re just a substitute
for the one that i hold dear you know you could be anyone god forgive my tasteless
tongue i never should have been set free i claw my eyes i skin my face beg
somehow to be replaced that’s how we deal with boys like me well i guess
for this world so sick with loss and those who dream despite the cost i should
climb down off my rugged cross and lay with you but you know by now it’s half
past late and i only came here for escape you you’re just my next mistake
like me to you you know you could be anyone god forgive your unborn sons i
hope they don’t end up like me i drag my mind through streets of shame
hate myself forgive the game that’s how we deal with boys like me but
despite what you’ve been told i once had a soul left somewhere behind
a former friend of mine and i hate to speak so free but you mean nothing to
me so if the street lights they shine bright i’ll get home tonight i
guess by the dim light in your eyes and that to you all things come as a surprise
i should set the steel trap of your thighs and dive right in but to you i’m
just a confused child insecure or in denial go raise your robes and hold your
trial i’ll let you win you know i could be anyone god forgive what i
should’ve done my thoughts enough to guilty be yes i guess i made this
bed but i’ll take the sidewalk instead that’s how we deal with
boys like me but despite what you’ve been told i once had a soul
left somewhere behind a former friend of mine and i hate to sound so true
but i mean nothing to you so if the street lights they shine bright
i’ll get home tonight

fly low you carrion crow.

fly low you carrion crow and seize my body for the debt i owe
drop me high unto the depths below for the things
i’ve dreamed no one else should know its just me and you and our ribcage
brains we polish the brass and we dust the panes and lay down fallow like slaveless
chains they call us sick as though they’re all so sane fly low you carrion
crow and seize my body for it lives no more the weight is long and its far
to go and the things i’ve seen no one else should know old crone in your
zip-lock shawl were you once the fairest among them all now you’ve sunk so
low there’s no more depth to fall but the gift of youth will soon betray
us all fly low you carrion crow and seize my body for to free my soul i don’t
deny what i can’t control for the things i’ve done no one else should
know what speak you of a love so bold no song could sing no word could hold
well i’ll tell you now of an end foretold and a life long wait for death’s
parole fly low you carrion crow and take me back to something that i once did
know it’s not for you that my story’s told for i don’t tell nobody what
they should know

my baby’s gone.

my baby breaks by the sea floats her
arms around me where they pretend to be free she don’t mean nothin’ to
me this broken opera just screams what don’t get said in my dreams don’t
need no shoulders to lean still i feel far too clean my baby’s beauty
explodes my wounded conscience unloads i go where cold winds don’t blow
i go where nobody goes but now my wave breaks down on me whole world seems
out to sound me i’ll drown no one to show me can’t swim i lost
my floaties my baby’s gone.